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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29728065">Heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/samisawesam/pseuds/samisawesam'>samisawesam</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emilia Dies Permanently, F/M, Suicide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:48:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>798</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29728065</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/samisawesam/pseuds/samisawesam</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Silver hair, caked with red. Amethyst eyes, seeing only the void. Emilia had died in his arms.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Emilia/Natsuki Subaru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/DotHase/gifts">DotHase</a>.</li>


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026992">The Result of Incompetence</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/DotHase/pseuds/DotHase">DotHase</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>There's no Re:Start this week, so I grabbed this from my fanfiction folder. I wrote it a few weeks back after reading "The Result of Incompetence," so I polished it up, gave it to my fiancé to edit, and posted it.</p><p>Special thanks to my fiancé for being the queen of my heart.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was no heat, no light. A world of nothing but the blood that stained his torn clothes.</p><p>However, it was not <em>his </em>blood. His heart pumped as powerfully as ever, unlike the motionless organ of the angel he loved.</p><p>Silver hair, caked with red. Amethyst eyes, seeing only the void. Emilia had died in his arms.</p><p>She laid in his lap, a slight smile on her face. She had no regrets. He banged his head against the wall, reveling in the pain it gave; it seemed to be the only sensation he could still feel.</p><p>He grasped the silver dagger in his fists, knuckles white with rage and grief. Three hundred. That's how many times he had Returned by Death to find the same sight.</p><p>Every single time, he hoped that he was wrong and that his save point would be merely a few minutes prior, but it never was. That blasted Witch cared only about him, and everyone else was to be left behind.</p><p>Speaking of the Witch:</p><p>"Please, stop this," Satella begged, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I cannot bear to see my love in such despair."</p><p>He let loose a sardonic laugh but did not vocalize his thoughts. He had already spoken them hundreds of times. He merely took his knife and stabbed himself in the throat. His blood splashed across Emilia's face only for it to disappear as he Returned by Death yet again.</p><p>Satella knelt before him, her silver hair swaying in an unseen wind. She reached out to cup his cheek, but he slapped her hand away with a snarl.</p><p>"Back away, <em>Witch,</em>" he spat, relishing the way she flinched back. He knew all too well that Satella and the Witch of Envy were split personalities, but right then, he couldn't see them as anything but the same cruel entity. With all his hatred and grief, he told her, "Relinquish your hold on me, demon. Let me join her in death."</p><p>"I cannot," she whispered brokenly. She reached out to stroke his hair, but he reeled back and struck his head against the wall, shattering his skull. His vision went black only for it to return a moment later.</p><p>For what felt like the thousandths time, he demanded, "If you won't let me go, then bring my save point back. Let me save her."</p><p>She hung her head as crystal tears fell like a rainstorm. "I hold no jurisdiction over your save point," she said quietly, regretfully. "'Tis the Witch, not me."</p><p>"I see no difference," he growled. He sneered as her tears fell harder.</p><p>Bereft of eloquence, all she could say was, "I love you."</p><p>He returned her love by stabbing himself in the throat.</p><p>She crumpled in on herself as if his grief caused her excruciating pain. With a wavering voice, she desperately asked, "How can I make this stop? How can I take your pain?"</p><p>The answer was obvious, of course. "Let me save her."</p><p>Yet again, she reiterated, "'Tis the –"</p><p>"It's you," he said angrily. "Fuck the split personality bullshit, <em>you can bring her back!"</em></p><p>Her eyes widened, but whether it was at his vehemence or his belief in her, he didn't know.</p><p>With unending rage, he spat, "You caused this. You fix it."</p><p>Dozens, hundreds, thousands of times he killed himself. He never gave up.</p><p>Emilia said she loved him. The Witch, in a jealous rage, killed her.</p><p>Curled up in the fetal position, Satella wept, for her love was in pain. She fought, she fought <em>so hard</em>, but she was not as powerful as Envy.</p><p>Unfeeling. Cold. Dead. Subaru was a being of instinct, knowing only how to die.</p><p>One million. That was how high he counted.<br/>One million. That was how many times Satella fought the Witch.<br/>One million. That was the death where he was finally sent back.</p><p>With cold, dead eyes, he idly noted that he was in the same place as before, except Emilia was sitting beside him. Her eyes shined with life as she began her confession.</p><p>Hundreds of years ago, he had listened to her in sheer disbelief and awe. His heart burst alongside hers as she said those precious three words. Now, before she could say anything, he held up a hand to silence her.</p><p>He looked into those eyes filled with innocence, purity, and confusion. Evenly, he said, "How selfish of you, to try and keep me all to yourself. Goodbye, Emilia."</p><p>Taking advantage of her shock and heartbreak, he ran off into a nearby forest, ignoring her cries of his name.</p><p>He would save her. He always had.</p><p>Sending a silent prayer to the Witch, he took out his knife and once again stabbed himself in the throat.</p><p>This time, he did not Return by Death.</p>
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